He peered across at the model of the spire, where Jocelin held it so firmly in both hands. His voice was bat-thin, and wandered vaguely into the large, high air of the chapter house.
'But if you consider that this small piece of wood how long is it?'
'Eighteen inches, my Lord Chancellor.'
'Eighteen inches. Yes. Well. It represents, does it not, a construction of wood and stone and metal '
'Four hundred feet high.'
The chancellor moved out into sunlight, hands up to his chest, and peered round him. He looked up at the roof. Jocelin looked sideways at him, loving him.
'The foundations. I know. But God will provide.'
The chancellor had found what he was looking for, a memory.
'Ah yes.'
Then, in ancient busyness, he crept away over the pavement to the door and through it. He left a message, in the air behind him.
'Mattins. Of course.'
[...]
He took the white spire and jammed it firmly in the square hole cut in the old model of the cathedral.
'There!'
Everything has changed. Fortunes fluctuate like the price of diamonds in the Cairo market. When I left his side, nearly two years ago, the Sultan had conquered every pinnacle. His eyes were bright, the sun had given colour to his cheeks and his voice was relaxed and happy. Success dispels tiredness. When I saw him this morning he was clearly pleased to see me, and he rose and kissed my cheeks, but the sight of him surprised me. His eyes had shrunk, he had lost weight and he looked very pale. He observed my surprise.
'I have been ill, scribe. The war against these wretched infidels has begun to exhaust me, but I could cope with them. It is not simply the enemy that worries me. It is our own side. Ours is an emotional and impulsive faith. Victory in battle affects Believers in the same was as banj. They will fight without pause to repeat our success, but if, for some reason, it eludes us, if patience and skill are required rather than simple bravery, then our men begin to lose their urge. Dissensions arise and some fool of an emir thinks: "Perhaps this Salah al-Din is not as invincible as we had thought. Perhaps I should save my own skin and that of my men", and thinking these ignoble thoughts he deserts the field of war. Or another few emirs, demoralised by our lack of success, will think to themselves that during the last six months they and their men have not enjoyed the spoils of war. They imagine that it is my brothers, sons and nephews who are benfiting and so they pick a quarrel and go back to Aleppo. It is a wearying business, Ibn Yakub.
I have to fight on two fronts all the time.'
When we reached the edge of the dance floor, I cast off the mantle and let the crowd look their fill at me. The dress of fine chain was not intended to conceal. The ring of chain at my shoulders fell back, baring my breasts. The one that circled my hips left me bare at the sides, and when I began to dance, I knew the moving skirt would hide nothing.
Sometimes what we are is more important than who we are, and what we represent more important than what we are trying to accomplish. I surrendered to this truth also.
I was the ripe apple on the highest bough, the wheat field turning from green to gold in the autumn sun. The mountain and river teeming with fish, dressed in scarlet robes of desire. The crowd was silent, and even the wind seemed to die down as I crossed the broken dance floor towards the center.
Then I heard a murmur of approval from the people gathered on the hillside. The women would want to be me, the men would want me that was the point.
